You deserve to be happy.
You don’t need to be around anyone who stresses you out or makes you feel bad about yourself. If you allow yourself to be put down, held back, or affected by a negative person in your life, it’s time to do yourself a favor and break free. Negative people are a buzz kill and you can certainly do without them in your life. We’re here to help you get rid of all the Negative Nellies, Debbie Downers, green-eyed monsters, and chronic criticizers in your life so you can start living the happy life you deserve.
Different types of negative people
When it comes to negativity, one size doesn’t fit all. There are so many different traits and habits that make a person unpleasant to be around. Common types of negative people include:
- The Green-Eyed Monster: This kind of person gets irrationally jealous at everyone and everything. Due to the Green-Eyed Monster’s highly competitive nature, s/he sees everyone as a threat and would stop at nothing to make himself/herself seem superior to everyone else.
- The Problem Finder: “That will never work” is the Problem Finder’s favorite phrase. Whenever you approach the Problem Finder with a solution, an idea, or a goal, the Problem Finder will gladly give you a list of reasons why your solution, idea, or goal will never work.
- The Know-It-All: This self-righteous person thinks s/he can do no wrong, but is extremely quick to point out others’ mistakes or shortcomings. As far as the Know-It-All is concerned, s/he is always right, and everyone else is always wrong. The Know-It-All takes great pleasure in offering unsolicited advice to anyone who would listen.
- The Chronic Criticizer: Nobody likes to be judged, but the Chronic Criticizer doesn’t seem to care. The Chronic Criticizer finds the bad in everything and everyone, and isn’t afraid to voice his/her opinions. If you’re afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing in front of a certain person out of fear that s/he will judge you or discuss your flaws with other people, you’re dealing with a person who falls in this category.
- The Needy Victim: There is always something bad happening to the Needy Victim, and s/he expects you to sweep in and make his/her problems go away at his/her beck and call. The Needy Victim whines about everything all day long, and contacts you only when s/he needs something. If you’re in a dilemma and seek out the Needy Victim’s help, you can bet on him/her coming up with an excuse not to help you because s/he believes that your problem is trivial compared to his/hers.
There are so many more types of negative people that we can’t list them all here, so we’ll only say this: If a person makes you feel nervous, insecure, stressed out, or uncomfortable, you’re dealing with a negative Nelly, and s/he needs to go.
How negative people can hurt you
Whether it’s intentional or unintentional, negative people can hurt you if you’re around them enough. Here are some ways a negative Nelly can wreak havoc on your mental health:
Negative people make you feel bad about yourself. When you’re around a negative person, you’re not allowed to be happy. Misery loves company, after all. When a negative person feels an inkling of good fortune or positive vibes coming from you, s/he will subconsciously try to destroy it by shrugging off your good fortune, bringing up his/her own misfortunes, laughing at you, criticizing you, or focusing on your lesser qualities. If you let his/her words get to you, you’ll end up feeling bad about yourself.
Negative people add stress and anxiety to your life. Think about the most negative person you know, and think about how s/he makes you feel. Stressed? Nervous? Unhappy? It’s hardly easy to be in the presence of a cynical, apathetic, or downright cruel person.
Negative people don’t have your best interests at heart. Let’s face it: negative people rarely support and encourage others. That’s why you shouldn’t always trust them to guide you in the right direction. They’re reluctant to give sound advice that benefits you; rather, they’re more likely to advise you to do things that benefit themselves.
Negative people discourage you from doing your best. Have you ever wanted to achieve a goal only to have someone tell you that you can’t make it? Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will, and negative people know that. That’s why they consciously or subconsciously try to plant doubt into your head whenever you put your mind to something. They believe that if they can’t succeed at something, no one else can, either.
Negative people take up a lot of your time and energy. Negative people are often described as big black holes that suck the energy, happiness, and soul right out of others. Regardless of whether a negative person is complaining or criticizing your ear off or not speaking to you, this person is taking up space in your head simply because you’re bothered by the stuff s/he has said or done.
No matter how you cut it, negative people are bad for you. You need to detox them from your life. That means completely cutting them off or limiting your interaction with them.
It takes 6 steps to free your mind from the control of negative people.
Step 1: Realize your own value.
You are amazing. You are unique. You are you. Your character is too wonderful to be destroyed by all the Negative Nellies out there. Once you realize how precious and valuable you really are, you’ll have an easier time letting go of the negative people in your life who want you to believe otherwise.
Step 2: Identify all the negative people in your life.
Some negative people can be easy to identify, like that sinister aunt of yours who constantly makes snide remarks about everyone who has ever crossed her path, but there are plenty more Negative Nellies out there who may be much harder to detect. Think about each person you know and decide whether or not s/he is a positive presence in your life.
Step 3: Mentally prepare yourself for the detox.
You’re strong enough to break free of all the negative people getting in the way of your happiness. However, letting go of some negative people in your life may be difficult. Making a list of how they’re holding you back from true happiness might help you take action. Just remember that letting go of negative people doesn’t mean you hate them; it only means that you love yourself. After all, life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. Trust me; you’ll be better off without them.
Step 4: Change your focus.
There are nearly 7 billion people in the world; why let one person ruin your day? Instead of letting negative people occupy space in your head, start focusing on the better things in your life. Once you have completely shifted your focus to more positive things, it’s time to…
Step 5: Detoxify yourself!
There are several different ways you can detox negative people from your life. You can stop taking them seriously, limit your interaction with them, avoid them, or just cut them out of your life. Just because they’re still physically around doesn’t mean they have to be an active part of your life. Don’t give in and allow them back into your life! Stand your ground, and they’ll eventually go away.
Step 6: Surround yourself with positive people who will lift your spirits higher.
Now that you’ve emptied your life of negative people, it’s time to fill it with positive people who are good for the soul!
[This is an article I wrote for Lifed.com. You can find the original article here.]